Saturday, April 28, 2012

Quick, Smoke Everything!

"In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."

Around this time my cousin Liz decides to have some drama of her own.  To be blunt, Liz's landlord was a drug dealer.  Not the scary, gun wielding, fuck you up for looking at him funny-type of drug dealer, more of regular guy who happens to have a fairly involved hobby of a questionable nature.  In my experience with landlords, I wouldn't give a crap what they were up to, however, in this case Liz lived in the same house and was kind of stuck, should anything ever go down.

Well, that is almost precisely what happened.  (Surprised, neither.) We get word from a few friends the next town over; they were pulled in and questioned for several hours by law enforcement about, guess who.... the landlord.  Our friends, thankfully, did not give them any information, and were also able to tell us that the authorities had painfully little information to go on and were still months away from even finding out who they were looking for.

Still, this was, understandably, a reason for mass panic.  Leah and myself get a phone call and, after being informed of the situation, were recruited into the cleaning efforts at the house.  We scrubbed and cleaned and moved everything even remotely of a questionable nature from the residence.  Hell, he even got rid of any weapons that were legally purchased and a massive assortment of sex toys, because, while not illegal, may cause anyone performing a search to harass him.  I still have a bag of knives in my closet from then.  It was crazy.

I thing this is where everyone's mind went.

When we finish I was thinking:  "Awesome, I can relax now."  Oh, how foolish I was.  Now, I knew a little bit about Leah's past, but I soon discovered just how checkered it was.  You see, she had had a bit of a history with the drug trade in college, and a few really close calls with the law.  She was, as a result, more than a little bit paranoid when it came to things like this.  So, the cleaning that took place at Cousin Liz's house was just the start.  Leah and I did not keep any drugs around, but as I mentioned in my last post Stacy, Liam, and Turtle were the poster children for wasted potential.  We officially banned all drug use from the house, and gave them 24 hours to get it all out.

There were a few arguments, but we were adamant.  They cleared it all out, we cleaned up the place and waited for the hammer to fall, which of course never happened.  Stacy, Liam and Turtle believed that we were overreacting.  I will say this though, while I doubt that they actually got rid of any of their drugs, they did manage to do a much better job of being discreet.  My cousin calmed down a bit and I did not hear from her for a while. So, we go back to normal...until a few weeks later, when we had a party.

Stay Tuned... Next Time: An end of semester party gets BEYOND out of hand.

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